A Doozy of a Rant.....

Ok, So this is my blog and I am allowed a good rant every now and again am I not? Well, this one is a doozy. A real doozy. Here is the background information: On July 9th, 2005 my hubby Adam and I tied the proverbial knot in a beautiful outdoor summer wedding ceremony. Me, an event planner and artist, had the most fantastic time that year planning our wedding celebration. In true creative form, I masterminded every exsquisite detail of the happening. If you have ever known an aries gal with a flair for creative micromanaging you can understand what I am saying. So many infinite points to consider....I made porcelain vases, specially designed the flowers, colors, all matter of elaborate decor, fresh stylin' invites, wedsite & design work gifted to us by pal Becca, the meal of wild salmon and organic fare, professional musician friends performed, pro photos, video, italian bakery style cake, etc etc etc. For me, the entire process was a true expression of my Love for Adam and my desire to define that day as truly 'ours'. Of course the centrepiece of the entire day was the same as is is for many brides - The Dress. I tried on dozens and dozens if not hundreds of dresses, looking for that one gown that felt like the unique expression of self that I wanted to envelope myself in as I embarked on this monumental life journey. I was a 32 year old bride, no stranger to the carnal experiences of life and had certainly reached a point of self knowledge that can only happen through true life experience. I knew that a pure white dress just wouldn't do. After months of searching, consulting the opinions of many girlfirends, dragging them along from bridal shop to bridal shop, I finally found it - The One. This was the gown that would carry me over the threshold of my life from single womanhood into the brave new world of married partnership. It was perfect in every way. It was a diamond white A-line, strapless, satin dress, intricately embroidered in black thread and beads accross the bust, with a gorgeous corset back laced in a thick black ribbon - size 6. The corset back was mandatory in my search, for me it epitomized the decade long romance that had led Adam and I to this point with one another. It was unique, I had never seen a wedding dress like this one before. It was classic enough that I knew my Mom and (hopefully) Grandma would approve, yet edgy and original enough that I didn't feel like I was compromising my individuality by adopting the typical image 'bride'. Finally my long search was over. Of course there were still many details to work out with my attire for the day - dress alterations (another long story in itself ) shoes, hairpiece, accessories ( I chose pearl and black crystal earrings which hung elgantly low, I thought ) swarovsky crystal veil (which I customized with a black piping edge to accent the embroidery on the dress) and then, of course, there was the matter of decking out Adam in an equally classic and stylishly handsome ensemble. Details Details Details. Of course it was all worth it, I still look back at it as my most emotional, happiest, most beautiful day of my life so far. And with the amount of effort put into the rest of the day, why wouldn't it be? We must have over five hundred photos of that day alone. I knew that the images us on our wedding day would be carried with us throughout our entire lives. So that's the background, I think you get the picture. Well, with our wedding, as many other have experienced, it is a time when families meet and join together. The week of the wedding was the first time I hade met many of Adam's family, including his Dad, step-Mom and step Sister. Amidst the stress excitement of the week, some friendly connections were made. Now here comes the rant part. The following summer, Adam's younger step-sister was planning her own wedding. She is about ten years younger than me and seemed like a strong individual in her own right. As her wedding approached, it became disappointingly clear that we would not be able make the expensive trip out East to attend. The wedding went off with out a hitch from what I understand and recently Adam recieved a picture of the happy couple on their special day. Now this is the point where I lose quite a bit of my abilty to describe what happend... I think flabbergasted would sum up the first few moments....as I look at my young sister-in-law, she is wearing the EXACT SAME DRESS AS MINE! She is wearing MY dress! Exactly one year after my dreamy trip down the isle. To describe the flood of emotions that I felt after that would be impossible. Dumbfounded! Betrayed! Furious! Robbed! Devastated! It felt like daggers had been driven into my heart, my soul had be mowed over. Why? WHY? Why would she do this? My own sister in law! I still have no answer to that question and every moment I spend contemplating only spawns more questions. I gathered up some of the comments that I have recieved from my friends and families and I thought it would be somewhat cathartic to post them here. So far, this is what I have: "impersonation is the finest form of flattery" : "sad, very, very sad" : "ridiculous!" : "who does that kind of thing?" : "Didn't her Mom give her any guidance?" : "a complete joke": " they must really not like you": " I wonder how your wedding photo looks on their mantle right next to theirs?" : "maybe you don't exist to them" : "devastatingly unoriginal" : "maybe is was a compliment" : "it probably looked like a hand-me-down" : "tacky" : "that's mean" : "it's just plain wrong" : "Maybe your picture isn't even on their family picture wall" : "shocking!" : "Wow! That's just horrible!' : "There should be laws against that kind of thing" : "It's is such a negative gesture" : "Imagination is in short supply for some" : "Deeply wierd" : "I am embarassed for her." If she ever were to read this, I know I run the risk of hurting her feelings, but hey, she could have thought of that before she stomped all over mine. I am an emotional girl - not usually materialistic as we have never actually made any kind of money, or placed an importance on it in our lives. So, it is rather odd for me to react so strongly to 'stuff' or a material item. But this dress was truly a sacred symbol to me. My absolutely once-in-a-lifetime experience. Isn't this girl supposed to be my Sis, my family? Where do my feelings factor into this story? Couldn't she have at least let me know before she emailed Adam the picture? I would never even dream of doing something like this... I am truly grateful that I wasn't at their wedding, because I am positive that there would have been tears - and not tears of joy, let me tell you....I know that this isn't exactly kind, but I am truly disturbed and even writing this post has helped to make me feel better. So, thanks for the ear. Send me your comments because I truly want to know what you think.....This will go down in my mythology as one of the lamer things that has been done to me.